Unearthing those feelings I’ve kept locked deep inside, to let the music flow, brought rich, dark music to my soul. Alive again as the night outside my windshield let me cry. The first time I’ve cried like that in years, welling up out of my soul. Now that it’s open, I found this place, that had been there all along, a part of me, I acknowledged, but tried not to let it eat away inside of me. Time and time again I have wanted to reach out and touch you, say a word or two, let you know all those things that I never said.
Today my music changed, because I sent out my message to you. I heard raw emotions from my voice, that I haven’t heard like that before. It was my message to you. One you might never hear. Eight long years it’s been, and I still wish that I could have a word with you. I didn’t realize I loved you, but now it’s unmistakeable. How could I have not known? I hid it from myself as I did from everyone else for way too long. But as the feelings linger on, I wish I could say what I have longed to say. Seeing your face on the television screen, or one that looks just like you, makes it raw and fresh as a daisy’s bottom. I wish I could wrap my arms around you, and tell you how it was, what you missed, and what you didn’t see.
Leaving like that, wasn’t part of the program. It wasn’t the part I wanted to play. If I would have known and understood those moments would be my last, I would have told you, so many things that I wanted to say, and still do now. You should have known what I was going through, what it brought me too, and what just wasn’t true. But lastly, I wish I could have would have at least said I love you.
Copyright Kat Lyons
Picture Reblog: psychodelic